The objective,

1. To recognize the sensations and be alerted to just how others see and experience you.


2. To 'feel' how your body language informs your feelings, and how you can use this to 'improve' how you feel.


3. To understand how feelings move you, and how you can manage the emotion and options so that you act intentionally.


4. To manage the message you are sending, and improve how others experience you.


So don't forget to build you resources, adding them to your EQ Resource kit

Feelings help us to respond to our environment, and cannot be dismissed or ignored. But our responses need to be appropriate and  adaptive.


The is why EQ development involves recognizing and managing  emotions,


This is why we began our exploration of feelings in a way that helps us understand and connect with them, beginning with a very tangible and familiar part of emotion, with facial expressions


We then go on to explore feelings in a way that illustrates their meaning and power as influencer's, motivators and communicators, opening the door to understanding emotion and engaging with feelings so that we can manage them and ourselves more effectively.

On the face of it

Faced with your environment you respond through your senses, taking in or blocking out  input ...sights, sounds, smells and tastes.


We quite literally saw this (and felt it) in the face of feeling. Practicing the facial expressions hopefully you will become more empowered to engage with your own emotions, empathize with others and communicate your intended message more effectively.

But remember these are base skills that we will build on continuously in later topics :such as Awareness of other and Socially Speaking



But before we go, it is important to use what we have learned about the feedback loop or how we communicate with ourselves .


So in the next few pages you will develop a game plan and resource kit that use the very tight connection between peripheral expression and brain mechanism to influence how you feel.  Staring with Calm and Capable



Managing to calm our minds



This is because feelings move us, but all too often we fail to identify the options  or choices available for us to act intentionally. Instead we become driven by our feelings, acting without being informed by our goals and desired outcomes.


Calming the intensity  allows us to engage our minds.


"In this way you allow yourself to be Informed by feeling but not governed by them.  Remember mastering emotions (as we explore this here and in the next topic) does not mean blocking them. Instead we look to challenge what informs them and expand the options available to respond to them.


This is crucial because. Feelings not only move you to act, but they also energize you to achieve your goals and to inspire others. But more about that in Leadership. This is why in capable we engage emotions that help us achieve our successes.


The feeling of fear is in response to the perception of danger and leads to a confrontation with or escape from the threat (also known as the fight-or-flight response).


Inborn the feeling triggers an automatic response which includes elevated  heart rate and blood pressure along with the 'face of fear'.  This includes widened eyes and eyebrows slanted upward, which act to increase the capacity of this sense (of sight) so we can assess danger and escape routes.  It also shows more of the white of the eye revealing to others direction or the source of the fear.


But remember Self-Defined and the EQ coaching app is designed to provide building block of knowledge, techniques and skills that you can use to develop your emotional intelligence.


Simply reading the material will only achieve a small part of the goal. Instead, you need to do the practical exercises and try the 'experiments'.


You also need to begin building a resource kit, packing it with techniques, ideas, people and comfort to develop now and use when needed.




Amy Cuddy suggest that you can change not only others’ perceptions of you, but also the way you feel about yourself — spending two minutes “power posing” with your arms or elbows out,  chin lifted and posture expansive can make you feel more powerful.


Obviously displaying a sad or happy face can inform others of what you are thinking or feeling. But research using Botox has supported the facial feedback hypothesis suggesting that making facial expressions affects emotional centers in the brain ...and affects how you 'feel'


So the more you smile the happier you will feel (to some degree)).

The Startled Moro Reflex

Don’t wait until fight or flight kicks in before minding your breath. Controlled breathing not only keeps the mind and body functioning at their best, it can also lower blood pressure, promote feelings of calm and relaxation and help us de-stress.



The respiratory or breathing pacemaker, is a cluster of neurons in the brainstem. Called the pre-Bötzinger complex (or preBötC). Research has found it to be  important for controlling the arousal state (emotional states, and alertness ) So the neural circuit  causes us to be anxious when we breathe rapidly, and calm when we breathe slowly.


The basic facial muscles we use to express emotions are the same because they are biological, Aleix Martinez,  cognitive scientist at The Ohio State University


Naturally angry-looking people (those with a resting angry face) are seen as less trustworthy, while the happy-looking people are given the benefit of the doubt. Christopher Olivola, researcher - the psychology of human decision making at Carnegie Mellon University,