Love is the feeling here, and it has a profound influence on a parents perspective, just take a look at the expression "A face only a mother could love"
in just the same way falling in love results in the rose tinted glasses through which you view the other, seeing only what is good, kind and adorable.
In both instances things that are important to them, become important to you, and you are hugely attentive to and focused on these things.
When fear is the core emotion though what becomes important is self protection, and what has our attention is risks and danger.
As we explore factors that influence your lenses, you will discover a link to emotion.
This is because all these factors influence how something makes us feel, and how we feel is a reflection of these factors.
A rather convoluted relationship so lets try make it simple, starting with an example introduced in lenses...the example of parenthood.
In the story we can see how the prospective parents 'obsess about their baby and how parents will place their child's needs above all else.
Just how important is it? If you take a look the more important we find something, the more likely we are to 'look and see.' The very first example of this is that of perceived danger. Because survival is of key importance to most, we would all find something we identify as a threat to our survival VERY IMPORTANT.
But survival is not the only thing we value, and in fact modern society is struggling with the issues of value and meaning as new generations question what previous generations valued.
Determining what is relevant however relies on past experience, knowledge, beliefs, memories and even interest. Just take a look at Sherlock Holmes, fictitious private investigator with a keen sense of what was relevant to solving a crime.
Things that barely seem relevant to you or I (or even the fellow investigators at the scene) become pertinent and meaningful through his eyes. In watching this video though it is also important to differentiate between fact and opinion. ... in fact or opinion we challenge you to do this.
The significance or meaning of the finding is also important, influencing both the lens and the interpretation.
Take for example the sound of an engine roaring. To a passionate car lover it is the sound of power and a clue to a powerful motor running, to a mechanic it may suggest the need for some fine tuning, while to a person who is studying for finals it is a clue to just how much he or she hates the neighborhood.
The problem is the more relevant you make it the harder it will be to filter it out and the more vigilant you are the more likely your attention will be drawn to things that reinforce ...what you already believe!
Sadly enough this is often the case with the prosecution and even Sherlock Holmes, where we ask you to consider if another explanation could exist for the facts uncovered.
“People put a lot less effort into picking apart evidence that confirms what they already believe.”
― Peter Watts, Echopraxia
Things are ... I am .....Life is...People are
Our beliefs are the lens through which we make sense of the world, they are grounding principals used to explain the big things (and the little ones).
Most of our beliefs are formed in our childhood, although dramatic life events can cause a shift to these. Do you know your belief about the meaning of life, your core belief about people and relationships?
Derived from and based on your beliefs your personal values are a central part of who you are – and who you want to be. It tell you what is important and defined the rules of how (you believe) you should be.
By becoming more aware of these factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation. Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most.
In understanding the rules that guide , the goal is to examine the outcome of your lens and see if it supports your actual intent.
In the next few chapters though you will see that we are not suggesting that you change your beliefs and values to suite your goals, we are not suggesting that you lie to yourself to make yourself feel better.
Far from it! What you will however discover is that your lens is restrictive in that it only shows part of the picture
"We tend to accept information that confirms our prior beliefs and ignore or discredit information that does not. This confirmation bias settles over our eyes like distorting spectacles for everything we look at. "Kyle Hill