Relax because that is not what we are suggesting. This is not an exercise in self-deception or meaningless affirmation. just so that you can feel better about yourself, and we are not asking you to pretend everything is ok when it is not.
What we are however suggesting is that you expand your perception so as to improve options and that you act in a way that is more likely to achieve the positive long term outcome that you are hoping to achieve.
Why should you defend yourself against accusations and judgements, especially when you are making those accusations and judgements yourself?
How do you recognise where you are holding yourself back instead of firing yourself up and motivating improvement and self growth?
If you stop to listen to your thoughts, you may well be horrified to hear some of the charges you level against yourself
. But on the other hand you may also regard them as justified. "It is important to me that I push myself", "I don't want to accept second best" "I need to own up to my mistakes" or "I'm not going to lie to myself just to make myself feel better".
This is possible because as we will illustrate, what you perceive (and believe) is not what is.
Rather what we believe is generally what we perceive.
As a consequence we need to defend against this and other distortions of the truth as well as faulty conclusion. To do this you need to be willing to test your thoughts and beliefs, in the same way the legal system tests 'charges' to see if the accused is truly guilty of the the charges.
In fact most of the legal system is set up to avoid a distortion of the truth and the charging (or at least convicting) of an innocent man. This is illustrated in the opening argument by defense council in the video snippet at the bottom of the page.
So watch the video and ask yourself are you in pursuit of the truth, do you want to make the best decision possible and to achieve your best? If the answer is yes, then take a look at the legal system and how you can apply some of the ideas, policies and procedures, to make your case.
Central to the law is the court case or hearing in which everything is reviewed before a conclusion is reached.
If you were to learn from this, you would consider the details around your thoughts and beliefs, before accepting any finding.
Your thought record is the first step, because by noting what you are thinking when anxious, stressed, hurting or insecure, you can evaluate just how 'true' those thoughts are.
PROSECUTION AND DEFENSE
Evaluating how true, you will notice how the courts allows for "two sides to every story".
This is necessary because as you will discover, we see things through lenses and these can distort the 'truth', so the law involves two sets of council, the 'prosecution' and the 'defense.' each of whom works job to find and present the 'facts' of the case.
Circumstantial evidence is a very tricky thing. It may seem to point very straight to one thing, but if you shift your own point of view a little, you may find it pointing in an equally uncompromising manner to something entirely different”
“Evidence is always partial. Facts are not truth, though they are part of it – Hilary Mantel'
A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
BELIEFS WORTH CONSIDERING
Successful trial lawyers are like heat-seeking missiles carrying payloads of information prejudicial to their opponent's case, constantly looking for the chance to unload their cargo, right up until the final moments of trial.
Love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort and keep on learning
Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts
A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.
I can accept failure , everyone fails at something. But I cannot accept not trying