Bringing this to life through a range of reflective exercises, games and techniques,, Self Defined and Inner Apps encourages you to identify distortions that can hold you back, as well as discover and practice techniques that can help propel you forward towards your goals.
One of these approaches is emotional self defense, with principals and processes borrowed from the law and the justice system.
Do your thoughts motivate and inspire you or do they undermine your self belief and cap your potential. Do your beliefs hold you up or hold your back?
Self Mastery takes you on a journey of discovery to reveal just how deeply learned patterns of belief become the lenses through which you experience yourself and the world around you.
We have to filter the facts, because there is just so much to see, so much to consider. But while not EVERYTHING is important, too often the only facts we find important are our failures, our mistakes ...
The impact of this on emotions, confidence and self esteem are obvious, The distortion unfortunately is not so easily recognized. So mastery involves expanding perception to 'discover' and 'acknowledge' facts that have been filtered out.
In a court of law, predictions it would not stand up as evidence, but we often rely on Mind reading, Emotional Reasoning, Fortune Telling and Magical Thinking to convict.
Predicting (and guaranteeing) failure, experiencing rejection and feeling responsible where the 'objective facts' do not support this. So ask a simple question : Fact or 'Feeling?
It is based on fact, but the fact is being magnified, or minimized in a way that distorts the truth.
So a mistake makes you a failure and a lie makes someone a liar. A client who cancels is the end of a company and a low test mark means you will never get into a good college or university.
How did you suddenly jump from a single fact to a all encompassing label or a life altering catastrophe. .
These are just some of the distortions we use to justify thoughts and beliefs that limit us. Distortions such as All or nothing thinking, Catastrophizing, Personalizing and Magical Thinking, to name only a few.
Some of these we will discuss here, but rather than cover the distortion itself, we focus on the laws position on these distortion,
Acknowledging that these distortions are in fact a natural part of every day life, and that they need to be handled in a way that defends the truth.
There are two types of people who will tell you that you cannot make a difference in this world: those who are afraid to try and those who are afraid you will succeed."
A VIDEO PRESENTATION OF THE RANKING BY COMPARISON TECHNIQUE
A quick look at some of the cognitive distortions and a sneak peek at some very legal defenses
We all filter out different things, unnecessary information which would do no more than distract us from what is really important or overwhelm our sense. But sometimes what we filter out would benefit us if recognized and considered. One example of this is filtering out our successes as we focus on our failures.
This is why the law allows for discovery, all evidence needs to be given to the defense for their consideration (and visa versa),
ALL OR NOTHING REASONING
Sometimes we consciously dismiss something because it does not measure up. The rule is "It does not count" which in some cases may be true. But in other cases the criteria is too extreme.
Can you tell the difference? Are you even aware of where you apply this dismissive rule?
Would a judge convict on the basis of a prediction, on a hunch? Yet cognitively we accept this as fact. Harmless enough in some situations but far more damaging in others.
Emotional Reasoning like fortune telling relies on a feeling, a sense of something without certainty as to what that something is. So while it may be useful as instinct, it is potentially misleading.
So in a court of law, the 'opinion' of even the experts needs to be supported by objective, reliable facts. So where then does instinct or a hunch fit in?
Once it has a name, it becomes a thing. We stop looking at the details to describe someone or something the moment it has a name or a label, because we can use that label to refer to them.
Taking the blame may be a noble thing to do, but holding yourself responsible for every situation that does not work out as you had expected or hoped dismisses the facts that contributed to the situation. Rather than enabling you to act to improve circumstances it simply makes you helpless to bring about the change you want.